I’m an ungrateful bastard… I don’t deserve this much…

After taking 2 painkillers last night, I subjected myself to a semi-sleepless night, trying my best to fall asleep (at best I would fall asleep for an hour, and wake up for another hour, and then sleep for another hour, etc etc). At 7 am, I went to the toilet to throw up again, only this time, since I hadn’t eaten anything the day before, what came out was nasty-smelling gastric juices – horrible stuff indeed. In addition to pain in my back and pain in my stomach, I now suffered an additional pain in my right waist, which was enough to make me down another painkiller and try to get some sleep.

At 9 am, I was awakened by the sounds of my handphone ringing, and people pressing on the doorbell outside. I groggily picked myself up and opened the door, only to find… My parents.

I was completely speechless.

After inviting my mum and dad in, I checked my phone and sure enough, there were a couple of messages there telling me about them coming down to Malacca to see me (which I missed due to me sleeping right after throwing up). I told them everything that happened so far, right up to how the taxi-driver gave me a cutthroat price (“Aiyor! If it were me I would have just given him RM 3 and walked out of the car!” – My dad -.-).

My mum then told me that she suspected the doctor was blowing stuff out of proportion, and that my kidney wasn’t dehydrating like he said it was. She then took out a can of “Yoko Yoko”, before announcing that “sometimes, these work better on sprains”. I was about to argue with her about what the doctor said, but she said simply: “If Panadol works to reduce the pain, it must be a sprain. Read the bottle if you don’t believe me.” Sure enough, the label on the bottle did say “Relieves Fever, Headaches and Sprains”.

After I took a shower, my parents brought me out to take something light. We ended up eating mee-hun soup. I didn’t have the appetite to even finish half a bowl.

My parents then brought me to U-Center to get me some 100 Plus (Isotonic drink, helps replenish the body of lost salts). It was here that I threw up again, vomiting out my entire breakfast. Strangely enough, I felt a bit better after throwing up.

After parking outside IXORA, my mum told me the usual stuff: Don’t eat any oily food, sleep early, don’t use the computer so much etc etc. However, for some strange reason, I found myself deeply moved inside. As my mum gave me a farewell hug, I wanted to really just break down and cry on the spot. Even after their “we won’t care if you die on Malaccan streets” threats, they still came all the way down from Seremban to see me, and in the early morning too.

I feel horrible right now. It’s worse than the pain I felt yesterday. I’m a disobedient child, an ungrateful bastard. I don’t deserve this much. I should just be left to die on the streets, while vultures scavenge on my remains. I feel absolutely terrible now.

It’s been a long day, but I can safely say that I learned 3 things out of this:
1- I should drink more water.
2- I’ve got wonderful friends and roommates here in Malacca.
3- I’ve got awesome parents that care about me.

I’m a really, REALLY ungrateful bastard. I don’t deserve this much… T.T

Suffering…

This morning, I got up as usual, and proceeded to take my shower and empty my bowels. You know what I mean (Hint: Big Business).

After that, I went for lunch at IXORA food court. Throughout lunch, I could feel a lingering pain in my stomach, and was suspected that my “business” was far from over. I quickly finished up my lunch, went back to my room, and went to the toilet for the 2nd round.

By the time I had finished, however, I felt a sharp pain in my back, as well as an urge to throw up. Dismissing these thoughts are temporary pain, I continued my day as usual – until I felt another pain in my stomach.

This time, however, after I had left the toilet for the 3rd time, my back was hurting like crazy, and I took this as a sign to go lie down and get some rest. 30 minutes later, I woke up to find my entire back screaming in pain, and I knew that something was wrong.

I quickly got one of my rommates to accompany me to the nearest clinic (thanks man!) in MMU. The clinic, however, was closed. We then went to the clinic outside EP, only to find it also closed.

At wits end, we took a taxi to the nearest clinic he knew, which happened to be nearby MMU corner. I was charged RM 6 for it, a true cut-throat price, but by then I was too tired to bother arguing.

The doctor diagnosed my case as dehydration. The pain in my back was my kidney hurting, and it seemed that even it was becoming dehydrated. Only then did I realize I hadn’t been drinking much water these past few days, and what he said made sense.

So right now, I’m stuck with a major pain in my back, as well as occasional pains in my stomach. It’s nothing I can’t handle, but yet again, for something like this to happen right before my exams, it really dealt a blow to me. I just hope I’ll be well enough by Wednesday to take my Pre-Calculus exam….

The price of over-estimation

I had my Physics Test today. The paper was pretty average – not mind-numbingly easy, but not mind-f*ckingly difficult either.

Now let me explain a bit about the format. For Section 1, there are 6 questions, from which we are required to answer 4, each worth 5 marks. For Section 2, there are 3 questions, and we are required to answer 2. Put simply, there were 9 questions in total. And we had 9 chapters for Physics 1.

Now putting two and two together, I deduced that there would be 1 question for each chapter, and hence it would be safe to “Discard” 3 chapters, since we were only required to answer 6 questions in total. I decided to totally ditch Chapter 4 (Torque), Chapter 5 (Work-Energy) and Chapter 7 (Mechanics of Matter).

When I first read Section 1 of my test paper, I was pleased to find out that there was indeed only 1 question for each of the chapters – put simply, I had struck gold. I immediately crossed out Questions 4 and 5, and focus on answering Question 1, 2, 3 and 6. 1 was fine, 2 was meh, 3 was simple, but 6 was rather long and complex. I reckon I must have spent at least 10 – 15 minutes doing that one question alone.

Then came Section B. Again, I crossed out the question for Chapter 7, and did those of Chapter 8 and 9….. Only to realize each question contained HALF OF EACH CHAPTER. Question 7 was Chapter 7 + 8, Question 8 was Chapter 7 + 9, and Question 9 was Chapter 8 + 9. Oh Shi–

In the end, I dug from the deep recesses of my memory whatever I could recall of Chapter 7, and began ploughing through the Questions. To add insult to injury, the only question I had prepared for (Q9, Chapter 8 + 9) turned out to be f*cking difficult.

After the exam, I wearily passed up my question paper, and out of curiosity, read the 2 questions for Section 1 that I skipped. The question for Chapter 5, Work-Energy (Q5), was pretty difficult. I breathed a sigh of relief, before moving to Question 4.

QUESTION 4 WAS F*CKING SIMPLE.

Heck, I could tell the answers by just LOOKING at the question, never mind doing it. If I had actually bothered to read and answer it, I would have finished it in 5 minutes MAX.

But I didn’t. Thanks to my over-confidence and over-perceptiveness, I threw 5 free marks into the drain. Worse, I jeopardized my own results by deliberately ditching a chapter I could have otherwise understand perfectly. I’m damned pissed at myself right now, for being such an over-confident narcissist. If only I hadn’t over-estimated myself, I could have maybe done a little better.

But unfortunately, I didn’t.

And now, I’m gonna have to pay the price for it.

Me in a Ponytail?

I’m dead serious – I plan to keep my hair into a (small) ponytail, regardless of what my parents might say. And I might dye it white while at it.

Sigh… I should really stop cramming stuff to study last minute… Apparently last minute Physics-studying does weird things to your brain…

But I still can’t stop imagining myself in a small ponytail, regardless of how stupid I’ll look…

P/S: This post is totally random rubbish. I have no idea why the hell am I even writing it lol. Blah maybe I need some time off. Touhou + Red Bull sounds pretty good to me >:3

P/P/S: I was serious about the ponytail.

Stubbornness on a whole new level!

OK, I’m mentally worn out now, so I’ll try to keep this post short.

ONEE-CHAN IS UNGODLY STUBBORN! >:3

Seriously, this is the first time I’ve felt so tired in months. After 2 hours (TWO HOURS) of endless persuasion, I FINALLY managed to persuade Onee-chan to…. Accept 80 bucks >.:3), please do drop me an email/SMS. I bet that no one else is THAT stubborn >=P

Oh and we finally managed to reach an agreement, but lol, I’m feeling damn guilty now for even suggesting it. I really feel like drowning in a pool of LCL right now…. T.T

(P/S: Onee-chan if you comment here about apologizing/being guilty, I’m gonna smack you on the head the next time we meet again >:3

The road not taken

I never thought that the day I would be so challenged about my decision to pursue a major in Nanotechnology would come.

Before this, I had always thought that my future would lie within Nanotechnology – you know, a brand new major that no one’s had before, with my batch being possibly the first batch ever to graduate with such a degree in MALAYSIA? I had confidently told my parents, my peers and myself that no matter what happened, I would be pursuing Nanotechnology.

But what’s happened to that streak of confidence now? With my current results (Ok ok, I know they’re not the cream of the class or anything, but hey, at least they’re not that horrible, right?) I don’t think it’ll be much of a problem if I continue to pursue Nanotechnology. A challenge, maybe, but an impossible feat? Definitely not.

If so, what’s keeping me from moving to Cyberjaya to pursue Nanotechnology? They’ve got better Internet, better lecturers and better facilities there right?

I’ll be blunt with you – I like this place. MMU Melaka. EMiNA Melaka. SPB. Even IXORA – there’s nothing here I can find fault with (except IXORA’s crappy Internet, but we’ll just ignore that for the time being shall we? ^^;;). The food here is awesome. The clubs here are beyond awesome. And the people, the many friends I’ve met here, they’re way beyond awesome. In a sense, you could say that I’ve grown attached to this place.

So what lies in store for me here? A double major perhaps, in both Robotics and Telecommunications? I’ve just consulted my Academic Advisor, and she said it WAS possible to do so, though she’s not sure if I’m able to handle it (and frankly speaking, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it either, with my freelancing and stuff). However, if I really chose to do so, I would be able to pursue both majors in the same university, the one I’ve grown way too attached to – MMU Melaka.

Distance – I’ve always hated that word. It’s something that’s been haunting me for my entire life. I had to move from my hometown in Ipoh just because my dad got a job in KL. After that, I had to move from KL to Seremban just because my dad got transferred. I broke up with my ex because I didn’t want to see her suffer when I moved to Melaka to pursue my degree. And right now, I’m stuck between two choices – to either pursue Nanotechnology in a place I know I won’t like much, or to stay here and pursue a major I know I won’t like as much.

So the question is, should I move to Cyberjaya and regret missing all the fun and people here in Melaka, or stay here in Melaka and regret my missed degree in Cyberjaya?

Hijack!

I live in IXORA. It’s an apartment right next to MMU, is about 5 – 10 minutes away from where my classes are usually held (infinitely useful when I wake up late ), has a really sucky Internet connection, and for the past two days my room has been the equivalent of a pig sty, no thanks to be hijacking my roommate’s side of the table (while he’s back home in Seremban) >:3

Here are a few shots of my room, after being turned into a dump by yours truly

This is an overview shot of my room:

This is my side of the table:

And this is his side of the table:

OK, I admit it, I’m a messy person >:3

P/S: I’m a total n00b when it comes to blogging… It took me around 4 or 5 tries just to get these images up lol. I tried html and wiki formatting, but apparently, those didn’t work ^^;;

Taking the Blame

Assignments are never fun.

Just last week, my whole group was subjected to completing a 20-page written project about Internet and Piracy (some lame topic I thought of, sue me for lack of creativity). We agreed to split the project into 4 equal parts, whereby each group member would complete one main idea and thus be able to finish it quickly.

My assigned part was pretty simple. All I had to do was “Other forms of piracy” (Read: The small fry) such as book piracy, anime piracy, software piracy, blablabla. And since nobody bothered to, I was in charge of editing, typesetting, formatting, making the cover page, adjusting the footnotes, making sure the hyperlinks were working, resizing, standardizing margins and gutters, printing and handing the thing up to Mr Zaki. Hey, no sweat, right?

I was also in charge of creating the Power Point Presentation to be used 3 days later. With 15 – 20 slides (animations required) for a roughly 5 – 10 minutes long presentation. All by myself. But hey, that isn’t too hard too right? I mean, who cares about the fact that I had to do a little extra work (which was, quite simple, mind you)? Since I never really b!tched about it, I must have been fine with it, right?

Oh and let’s not forget that since I was in charge of the editing, if Mr Zaki finds out that some of my teammates decided to take the easy way out and copy-paste straight from Google, it’s my goddamned fault for not editing.

Physics Tutorial is never group work – it’s more of a two-man job with me and one of my teammates. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for having a really reliable teammate whom I can really trust to finish up his assignments on time. As long as you have one reliable teammate, why b!tch about the other three, right?

Right now, I’m supposed to be doing another project for Computer Applications, this time based on Microsoft Access. It’s supposed to be a solo project (Read: Every man for his own), but for some reason, I’ve already gotten multiple requests for my pendrive when I’m done (But at the very least, out of these few requests, there’s one guy which I really don’t mind handing my pendrive over to. I owe you too much for Physics Tutorials ^^).

But despite my constant whining you can see above, sometimes I really do wonder, why is it that I continue to just shut up and take it? Why do I have to take the blame, take the fall, take everything that comes my way aside from credit? It’s been the same damned thing for the past 10 years or so, ever since I was back in Primary School. Why is it that I just sit back and be used?

The solution is pretty simple – I have inferiority complex. I always feel as if I’m inferior to others. The only way I can feel as if I’m done something to get some recognition is by slaving my arse off, while my teammates just sit back and enjoy. “Just leave everything to me!” God knows how many times have I uttered that phrase.

However, deep down inside, another part of me knows that I’ll never be able to just dump everything to my teammates and do close to nothing. It’s not a matter of not trusting them with my assignments (to be honest, I could care less if I flunked them). I’m afraid that if I don’t do anything, people will start keeping their distance away from me, and soon I’ll be all alone again, a loner, a wanderer, desperado, a ronin, just like back then…

Call me simple. Call me stupid. Call me a workaholic. Call me a hypocrite. I don’t care.

In the end, I know that no matter what happens, I’ll just shut up, and quietly take whatever comes my way.

No matter how unfair it may be.

The Life of a Lucky Bastard

Throughout my entire life, people have always said that I’m a really lucky bastard.

First of all, they think I’m smart. I can do things last-minute, study for my exams the night before and still manage to wing-it (and have leftover time to sleep after the paper too). I’m just some lazy arse who likes nothing more than write fiction while the teacher is teaching in front, sleep while the teacher’s not looking, and generally play online games and watch anime till late night.

They also think that I’m a really lucky to be gifted with a good voice, and a good command of English. They think it’s awesome how I can just crap stuff out without thinking, and come up with seemingly long and complicated sentences right on the spot. Not everyone is capable of bringing in Schneider’s Law (90% of everything is crap) in the middle of a debate with the class teacher, right? Oh and let’s not forget, having a sweet tongue makes it easier to flirt around. No harm done, right?

I’m also apparently a lucky guy because I can really just turn a deaf ear and ignore certain stuff. Apparently I’m some lax, carefree guy who doesn’t give a damn about anything, be it homework, exams, or lousy grades.

So that’s some lucky guy right? I mean, who cares about the fact that despite being labeled “smart”, I apparently don’t have what it takes to get the courses I really want. So? Who cares? You got yourself a full scholarship to Singapore to do Electronics Engineering, and you turned the bloody thing down. S-T-U-P-I-D. What’s so great about Nanotechnology anyway, if you have to spend RM50k just to pursue it in some random university in Malacca?

And yeah, having a good command in English is a really great talent. It helps when you need to bash certain people, and later realize that you shouldn’t have said that, but it’s too late. It also helps when you need to freelance to actually pay off your own living in Malacca, since your parents are too pissed with you throwing away an entire scholarship to be bothered if you starved to death on Malaccan streets. And oh, sweet-talking is a really useful talent too. It helps create misunderstandings that you’re hitting on some other girl when you’re actually not, really useful when you want your gf to give you the cold shoulder. That’s nice.

Oh and let’s not forget, being numb to certain stuff can be really great too. I didn’t feel anything when my friends backstabbed me and dumped me in KL. I didn’t feel anything when I found out that most of them were just using me to get solutions for SPM Trials Add Math. I didn’t even care that some of them were just using me for their own personal gains. I guess being hollow and emotionless isn’t such a bad thing after all eh? At the very least, suicide doesn’t occur to you. You’ll be too lazy to be bothered about ending your own life.

So yup, that’s it, the lucky life of some lucky bastard, currently typing up this post like some ungrateful arse asking for too much. Don’t envy me too much, eh? ^^

Freakish Coincidences!

Last Saturday, I stumbled upon my Long Lost Sister Online. To be honest, we share so much in common, it’s freaky >:3

1- My Onee-chan and I are psycho >:3
2- My Onee-chan and I were prefects (and pretty screwed-up ones in fact) >:3
3- My Onee-chan and I are into journalism >:3
4- My Onee-chan and I have a kick-fetish in IRC (although in this case she’s the one doing the kicking, while I’m the one being kicked lol) >:3
5- My Onee-chan and I are reporters for NeXus >:3
6- My Onee-chan and I are EVIL >:3
7- My Onee-chan and I did badly in BM for PMR >:3
8- My Onee-chan and I apparently share the same views on some friend-related stuff >:3
9 -My Onee-chan and I can both drink a lot >:3
10- My Onee-chan and I apparently like “mirrors” >:3
11- My Onee-chan and I are into dark literature, especially those with lots of blood and gore >:3
12- My Onee-chan and I started watching anime thanks to Rurouni Kenshin >:3
13- My Onee-chan and I think Battle Royale > Harry Potter 7 >:3
14- My Onee-chan and I used to blog a lot (or myspace in my case), and had eerily similar blog posts >:3
15- My Onee-chan and I were professional conmen >:3
16- My Onee-chan and I are godly stubborn, to the point of arguing for 5 hours over some stupid skeleton >:3
17- My Onee-chan and I are batshit insane. We actually look forward to writing stories about people committing suicide, and think it’s much better than attending some lame chinese dinner thing >:3
18- My Onee-chan and I apparently like writing (though Onee-chan’s writing totally PWNZ mine) >:3
19- My Onee-chan and I think Higurashi no Naku Koro ni is awesome, and laugh at people who think it’s too bloody/violent >:3
20- My Onee-chan and I can’t stand black sheep T.T
21- My Onee-chan and I used to write fiction in class while the teacher was teaching in front >:3
22- My Onee-chan and I are pretty good in English >:3
23- My Onee-chan and I have editors called Liz >:3
24- My Onee-chan and I apparently masked our pasts with a visage, though not many people know.
25- My Onee-chan and I like using the “>:3″ emoticon (though Onee-chan’s is a little different >=3)

So…. that’s me and my Long Lost Sister. Hard to believe eh?

Long Lost Sisters FTW!!
/me glomps Onee-chan

P/S: Onee-chan’s drawings are awesome >:3